Some of My “Friends” are Assholes

Well, I lost my job.  And not even because of something I did.  Because of budget cuts.

The thing that sucks about being a teacher is that you find out that you’ve lost your job somewhere between April and May. (By NJ law, schools must notify you by May 15th whether or not you will be renewed for the following year.)  And the school year doesn’t finish until the third week of June.  So even though you’re out of a job, and have the prospect of having no financial security heading straight for you, you have to keep going to work every day until the end of the school year pretending everything is fine, and that you still have every reason to work your ass off for these people.

It sucks.

My closes friends are slowly finding out, and have been extremely supportive.  My friends on LJ, though, have been asses.  I only post to my LJ when I have something I really think others should know.  (And occasionally to grab one of the memes my “friends” are constantly finding.)  So, just so no one is left in the dark, I tell them.  Even though I’m utterly and completely ashamed, and feel like a failure at life every time I think about it.  I might as well have never posted it.  No one has said anything.  Not even, “I’m sorry, stay strong.”  So much for support from them.

I can’t say I’m surprised.  It seems like my friends who still use LJ live in some form of denial, where the real world never enters.  My friends-list is full of Phantom Planet videos and posts about the newest campaign in D&D.  I just get upset when I need to know my friends have my back, and they’re more concerned about a Free at Noon concert than anything else.

Sorry to be such a downer.  It’s a really difficult thing to be working, yet let go all at the same time.  So instead of the business world, where you can devote all your time to searching for a job, I’m teaching and searching all at once.  It’s unlikely that life will be much better for the next little while.  I’m hoping to secure a job before the end of the school year.  If I don’t, I’m not sure what I’ll do.  Keep your fingers crossed for me.

-Kassidy